Strange noise in our bathroom after I've used it.
Wife: was that you?
Me: nope. Well, enjoy using the bathroom.
I proceed to leave the room with the cat following me, leaving the wife alone in the bathroom.
Me: obviously he knows something we don't.
Wife, to the cat, in a tiny, quiet voice: don't leave me.........
It's okay, no demons have taken her. Yet. 😈