Soundcloud is a neat service where you upload audio files in return for bots and messages from "music promotion" accounts.

What if instead of saying "I'm getting old" because your'e no longer puking at 4am outside a kebab shop.

We said "I'm getting wiser"?

I am half of the IT department. Tomorrow we both go on holiday.

I can only assume that when I get back, the office is going to look like something from Lord of the Flies.

When I was growing up, we'd sort of exchange knowing looks and nudges if someone was talking about themselves too much.

Now I assume they all talk about themselves professionally as youtube influencers or something

Nevermind. Found what I was looking for, and also learned that the 💩 emoji means good luck in Japan.

Socrates' first dialogue with Plato which paved the way for classical philosophy.

vease boosted

launching a new subscription model for my toots

$2.99 a month or $59 one-time charge to never hear from me again

Conspiracy Theory / Politics 

vease boosted

All women are tankers.

Man "I've lost the keys to my house"

Women "OUR house"

Why does the UK only vote for people who look and talk like Oblivion NPCs?

vease boosted

I just ordered some stuff off Amazon for 0.00.

Is this legit?

Probably not, but worth a shot right?

When I was younger people used to say "You are now breathing manually" as a way to annoy you.

Now people actually pay money and go on courses to breath manually, accept now its called "Mindfulness".

I am just not feeling work this week. Lordy. This heat is relentless.

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